12. 3. Be prepared. Be clear on what you need to say and the outcome you desire.
4. Manage your emotions. Getting angry, upset or frustrated is not going to help the situation. Remember that you can't always control the situation but you can control your emotions.
5. Use “I” statements rather than “you” statements. Make it about you, not them - it''s less confrontational.
6. Avoid words like “never” and “always”, “must”, “need to”.
7. Discuss the impact of the behaviour you are looking to change – don’t get personal.
8. Be specific. Don’t skirt around the issues hoping they will get the message! Some of you may remember the 80's "shit sandwich" technique where you start with a positive, then have the difficult conversation, then finish on a positive. Whilst this technique does have it's merits (despite the awful name!), it can be very easy to focus on the positives so much that the actual message is lost.
9. Always in have these conversations in private.
10. Be timely (unless it is a highly emotional situation). If the conversation is about a specific event. have the conversation as soon as possible.
11. Use feel, felt, found! (tip 126)
12. Try to keep to a maximum of 2 issues or they may feel “attacked” with can effect confidence and morale.
13. Avoid insincere praise. It's patronising and annoying!
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