So let's talk about the word BUT...

​Who remembers Vicky Pollard and her 'Yeah but no but' in a VERY strong Bristolian accent?

What with 12 ASBO's before she left school at 11 and swapping one of of her 12 kids for a Westlife CD, she didn't really show us Brissle folk in a very good light!

So let's talk about the word BUT...

Mostly, whenever we add BUT to a sentence it pretty much negates what we said prior to that.

I understand your objection, but...
I understand your complaint, but...
You did a great job, but...

How do you feel when you hear a but?

Although we think it softens the criticism or critique that's likely to follow, it often doesn't. We go on the defensive, tend to ignore what came before the 'but', and focus mainly on what came after. 'However' has the same impact.

Instead, try using the word and. Whilst it may feel a little odd at first, it can help to get your point across in a positive way so worth trying.

How about:
I understand your objection and I can understand your point of view. Shall we...
I understand your complaint and I am going to do my best to sort it out for you. How about we...?
You did a great job and I'd like you to work on being more of a team player next.

Thoughts?